Jury Duty, Trauma Stories, and Somatic Rage.

"They said, 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'

I say, 'heaven has no blessing like a woman reborn.'"

-Anna Diorio (her song Wild Woman)

Rage.

Anger.

Fury.

Life force energy flowing with a need for

Vengeance.

Justice.

A course correction in the quantum tides of the universe.

Jury duty.

Sure, why not; I love being a responsible adult.

Endless hours trapped in concrete walls.

Maybe those men were murderers; maybe not.

Why should I spend 480 hours forced to decide?

Never again.

Summons?

Junk mail.

Shredded.

Never seen.

Threatened: fines, incarceration, or both.

Enraged, with a need to escape.

Why does this bring up so much rage in me?

It's too familiar.

The energy in my nervous system remembers.

Time collapses.

Quantumly, it's all "Now" anyways.

The body feels the same.

"I see you," me-here-now whispers to the

me-there-then. "Can you see me?"

I feel her rage.

her anger.

her fury.

her life force energy flow with a need for

vengeance.

justice.

a course correction in the quantum tides of the universe.

Before each betrayal,

she trusted them:

the people who got away with

religious abuse.

psychiatric abuse.

sexual abuse.

physical abuse.

Years of it.

Trusted faces being the cause of

so much harm; and then

walking away like

nothing happened

while she, my past self, suffered,

life shattered.

Past and present merge in my body.

I tend to needs Now and needs Then.

I grab the pen that's writing my story and

shift the scroll of its ink to

forever remake the stories that

made me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TRIGGER WARNING.

The "courtroom" is led by people in authority who determine the outcome of people's lives, with longstanding impact... Yet they often do more harm than good.

It's totally identical to the people who resulted in religious trauma growing up, and psychiatric trauma as an adult.

And it reminds my body of the 5 men who sexually and physically abused me and got away with it.

So being summoned to jury duty, and threatened with fines and incarceration if I do not comply, felt very triggering.

I used my parts, somatic, and mirror practices and was able to regulate my nervous system, stay grounded in my body, heal past trauma wounds, nourish my deepest needs, make new choices, and step forward with patient courage to resolve the issue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristin Windsor

May 20th, 2025